The Worst Song of All Time

So there’s been a lot of talk over the last week about the supposed “worst song ever written” by Rebbeca Black. I even blogged it last week under the title “This song kills baby seals” however I don’t think she really deserves the title. Sure, Rebacca’s song is idiotic and simplistic, but then again most pop music lyrics are completely banal. For the purposes of this study I will be comparing Rebecca Black’s Friday with what I believe to be the worst song ever written. The Black Eyed Peas’ I gotta feeling.

Exhibit A
Rebecca Black’s song starts off and get’s into the crappy lyrics right away. Meanwhile we are subjected to a thirty second build up (complete with strings) during I gotta a feeling. And then what do the Black Eyed Peas give us? They start off with the chorus, and then repeat it again, and again, and again, and again. In fact the entire first minute of the ‘lyrics” is nothing but a repetition of “Tonight’s gonna be a good night” and “Good good night”.

Exhibit B
Rebecca Black is a thirteen year old girl. Ok. I know she’s as easy to hate as the little rich bitches on My Sweet 16, but let’s not forget this. She’s a kid. She is mainly writing about things she does which seem very trivial to most of us, but at least she’s writing about what she knows. The Black Eyed Peas on the other hand have been around for ages and have some of the biggest players in the industry backing them. This is why I gotta a feeling is intentionally stupid. They understand full well that in order to make a catchy pop song you need to write it as follows.
Chorus
Chorus
Lyrics
Chorus
Chorus
Black guy rapping
Chorus
Chorus
refrain
Chorus

The full intent of I gotta a feeling is to just ram a tagline (tonights gonna be a good night) into your head to the point that it is impossible to remove. It’s what “I’m Lovin It” is to Mcdonalds. If you get either of these songs stuck in your head I apologize; however I have a cleanser video at the end which should help you remove these evil songs from replaying in your mind. So lets get back to Rebecca Black. Her chorus is “Friday Friday, Gettin Down on Friday” which is infantile and stupid, but can you really say it is any worse than “tonight’s gonna be a good night”?. I would argue that “Tonight’s gonna be a good night” is actually worse considering the fact that this was a song that cost millions to produce and was played during the Super Half Time Show.

Exhibit C
Friday’s first lyrics are actually better than I gotta a feeling. She actually creates a scene and frames a narrative. While Black Eyed Peas give us, well, nothing really. Let’s take a look.
Friday Lyrics
7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

vs.

Black Eyed Peas
Tonight’s the night, let’s live it up
I got my money, let’s spend it up
Go out and smash it like oh my God
Jump off that sofa, let’s get, get off

I know that we’ll have a ball
If we get down and go out and just lose it all
I feel stressed out, I wanna let it go
Let’s go way out spaced out and losing all control

hmmmm. To me the Black Eyed Peas make a lot less sense but let’s continue.

Exhibit D
Rebecca Black sings about the days of the week, but then again she actually gives us useful information about them. If a four year was learning the days of the week then Rebecca actually gives us something to work with. However when the Black Eyed Peas start naming off the days of the week it’s completely sequential and has virtually no relevance to the song.

Rebecca Black
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
vs
Black Eyed Peas
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
(Do it!)
Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday
(Do it!)
Get, get, get, get, get with us, you know what we say, say
Party every day, p-p-p-party every day

Other things worth noting. Both songs are written at the same beats per minute so it would be quite easy to remix Friday on top of an instrumental version of I Gotta a Feeling. Using YouTubeDoubler I’ve created an example which demonstrates how similar the songs really are in chord progressions as well as tempo. Click here to listen to both at once.

Exhibit E
Rebecca Black’s song is more diverse while the Black Eyed Peas is just pointless repetition.

Friday
R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all
Vs
Black Eyed Peas
Let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it
And do it and do it, let’s live it up
And do it and do it and do it, do it, do it
Let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it, do it, do it, do it

Here we come, here we go, we gotta rock
(Rock rock rock rock rock)
Easy come, easy go, now we on top
(Top top top top top)
Feel the shot, body rock, rock it, don’t stop
(Stop stop stop stop stop)
Round and round, up and down, around the clock
(Rock rock rock rock rock)

If you’ve stayed around this long I applaud you. Now you can take the time to give both songs a listen and decide for yourself which is worse. After listening to both songs I suggest you immediately follow up with the final video. This should clean your mental palette and has been known to reduce the detrimental effects that crappy pop music may have on your brain. It’s a very strong antidote but drastic times call for drastic measures.

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